What does "creature" by half alive mean?

“creature” Lyrics Meaning

What is the human soul? This is the question that “creature” by half alive explores, not so much looking for concrete answers, but in the pursuit of the mystery. 

“I am creation, both haunted and holy” 

The narrator in half alive’s “creature” has a Christian worldview and turns to his Creator for peace as he suffers from the darkness in his heart. Rather than mentioning the darkness as the motivation for understanding himself, the focus is more on the peace that comes from knowing he was created by a perfect God who has a plan to redeem him. He views understanding his own heart as an exploration what his Creator has made rather than simply trying to understand his emotions. He is driven by something beyond his circumstances: a desire to know his Maker.

Verse 1

Look inside of me and see that I am not afraid

To walk inside the void like a kid inside a cave

Discovering the patterns of my soul and where it's placed

I've been mapping many caverns but it still feels like a maze

The song begins with the narrator’s announcement that he is “not afraid” to explore who he is with childlike wonder. He wants to discover “the patterns of [his] soul” and where it fits into everything. Already, he understands many of the mysteries, “but it still feels like a maze.”

Pre-Chorus 

I know I'm made of clay that's worn

Blighted by imperfect form

But I will trust the artist molding me

In a room that's growing dim

Illuminated from within

The pull of tension's empathy

Admitting that he is flawed, the narrator trusts that it is not because of his Creator, but the fallen state of the world he is apart of. The “room that’s growing dim” likely refers to the world and the darkness in it. Even in that darkness, the internal light shines. To our narrator, that light is probably his relationship with his Creator.

Chorus

I am creation, both haunted and holy

Made in glory

Even the depths of the night cannot blind me

When You guide me

Creature only

The narrator embraces his identity as a created being and what this means to him. He is haunted (flawed, and living in imperfection) and holy (created by God, and “made in glory). This duality is a mystery that fascinates him and draws him to discover more. Though there is darkness in his world and life, he is not blinded when God guides him. The line “creature only” is likely meant to highlight the difference between our narrator as a created being/creature and the Creator who guides him. 

Verse 2

Look inside my heart and find a perilous ravine

Carved within the beauty, the darkness in between

Standing in the balance of complete and incomplete

I identify the echo of what is and what will be 

The duality of beauty and darkness is highlighted again. He says that his heart is a dangerous place, “a perilous ravine,” but it is beautiful in spite of it. His heart stands “in the balance of complete and incomplete.” It is both wonderful because of the perfection of its Creator, and dangerous because of the imperfection of humanity’s fallen state.

Outro

Growing through the creature here

I'm trying to see when it's unclear

Hidden in the space between

Hero and the enemy

Early days and sleepless nights

Death and resurrection, life

My body is a sacred note

Sung between the flesh and hope

My dirt transformed within a breath

Before I took a single step

I'm looking forward to the day

When life can grow without decay

Humanity is not alone

When Jesus Christ sits on the throne

These hidden mirrors expose the mess

The selfish turns to selflessness

Haunted by a darker side

Transcends to walking in the light

And slowly I'm recovering

The beauty of discovery

I mean, that amount of glory does sound reasonably glorious

He wants to grow “through the creature” and learn from the war between haunted and holy within himself so that he can be redeemed by the “death and resurrection, life.” He sees himself as a “sacred note” and hopes that through his own struggle between “flesh and hope” others will see that there is hope for them as well. In wonder, he recounts his beliefs of God as his Creator and how “before [he] took a single step” God knew He would create him. This gives him comfort as he waits for the next life where he can “grow without decay” and the time for duality will be over. When “Jesus Christ sits on the throne” the darkness will be exposed and redemption will be fulfilled as the battle with all that haunted him will be won and “selfish turns to selflessness.” He is caught in the wonder of this redemption and he says that is learning “the beauty of discovery” as he seeks to understand life’s mysteries.

Deeper Meaning of “creature” by half alive 

“Creature” is a hope-filled, authentic look at the exploration of wonder. It encourages us to discover for ourselves the mystery of life, and assures us that we are loved and created for a purpose. It assures us that even when we don’t fully understand, we can keep seeking and trust that the answers we are looking for are ones that promise redemption.